I don't know about you, but some days I am nearly convinced that demonic forces are at work on my computer. The freezing... the error messages... the unexpected restarts... all designed to test my endurance and character.
Anyway, today I received the following email about Jesus, Satan and computers for your edification and entertainment:
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for forty days and forty nights, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They created powerpoint presentations.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets.
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports .
They did every job known.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:
"It's gone! It's all GONE! I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past week.
Satan observed this and became irate.
"Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"
God just shrugged and said,
"Jesus SAVES..."
Monday, 13 July 2009
Saturday, 11 July 2009
Glorious Diversity
I had the delightful privilege this week of sharing an hour with a group of CCTC students studying mission in the New Testament. (As a presenter, rather than as a fellow sufferer... well, a fellow sufferer in Greek classes at least... I do enjoy other subjects. I'm still in "recovery" from last semester... sorry for harping on about it).
I asked them all to make a single response to a simple question: "What is one thing that helps you to connect with God?" What was remarkable was the diversity of responses around the room... community, aloneness, the Word, music, nature, and other responses I've forgotten (I should have taken notes).
Perhaps this level of diversity shouldn't surprise me. We worship the God who created an incredibly diverse and complex natural world, and who has made every person on earth unique. It would be surprising if our spiritual lives did not reflect the diversity we see in other aspects of human life.
This experience added poignancy as I read this post by Crazy Seraph, describing how she was virtually demonised for not finding another person's preferred method of spiritual engagement helpful. It is staggering that people who claim to be Christ-followers have never even considered that every reported interaction Jesus had with others was unique. Nathaniel was called "without guile", Nicodemus was told to be "born from above", the woman at the well was offered "living water", the rich young ruler was asked to sell all he had, the expert in the law was told the parable of the good Samaritan, and so on. Jesus treated each person as an individual.
Now, we cannot be as discerning as Jesus! But it isn't a bad start to ask questions, and not to assume that one method of connecting to God is universally helpful.
Perhaps many humans love simplicity, security and rules, rather than the leading of the Holy Spirit and the exercise of patient listening and discernment. I for one, would like to sign up for the adventure and uncertainty of listening to where the wind of the Spirit is blowing... and the delight of discovering what God is up to in the lives of His unique and beloved children.
I asked them all to make a single response to a simple question: "What is one thing that helps you to connect with God?" What was remarkable was the diversity of responses around the room... community, aloneness, the Word, music, nature, and other responses I've forgotten (I should have taken notes).
Perhaps this level of diversity shouldn't surprise me. We worship the God who created an incredibly diverse and complex natural world, and who has made every person on earth unique. It would be surprising if our spiritual lives did not reflect the diversity we see in other aspects of human life.
This experience added poignancy as I read this post by Crazy Seraph, describing how she was virtually demonised for not finding another person's preferred method of spiritual engagement helpful. It is staggering that people who claim to be Christ-followers have never even considered that every reported interaction Jesus had with others was unique. Nathaniel was called "without guile", Nicodemus was told to be "born from above", the woman at the well was offered "living water", the rich young ruler was asked to sell all he had, the expert in the law was told the parable of the good Samaritan, and so on. Jesus treated each person as an individual.
Now, we cannot be as discerning as Jesus! But it isn't a bad start to ask questions, and not to assume that one method of connecting to God is universally helpful.
Perhaps many humans love simplicity, security and rules, rather than the leading of the Holy Spirit and the exercise of patient listening and discernment. I for one, would like to sign up for the adventure and uncertainty of listening to where the wind of the Spirit is blowing... and the delight of discovering what God is up to in the lives of His unique and beloved children.
Saturday, 4 July 2009
Two long years of tea
I heard a beautiful story from a Churches of Christ minister recently... whom I shall call “Priscilla” for the sake of anonymity... about a retired gentleman whom I shall call “Jack”.
Priscilla was on the ministry team of a church that had a policy that sermon notes should be copied and distributed to the congregation.
One day after she had preached, Jack (a newcomer at the church) bowled up to her and announced “I don’t believe in women ministers”. “Oh, that’s interesting” she replied. “And I don’t agree with this!” He then thrust at her the day’s sermon notes with furious circles all over the sermon.
“Would you like to discuss this further?” she enquired. He agreed that he would, so she dutifully went to his house the next day and had a long conversation about exegesis, theology, etc. etc. They parted on very cordial terms.
The next time Priscilla preached, the man bowled up to her and proclaimed: “I don’t believe in women ministers. And I don’t agree with this!” He once more thrust the day’s sermon notes with all of his contentious circles. “Would you like to discuss this further?” she enquired. So she dutifully visited the next day, and had another long theological conversation. They parted once more very warmly.
This ritual continued for two years. Then one day Jack walked up to her at the end of the sermon and said: “Priscilla, you know I don’t believe in women ministers”.
“I know that Jack”
But if I ever did... you would be the one to make me change my mind”.
Tears came to her eyes. (She reported it was one of the most moving moments of her life.)
Some time later, Jack passed on to be with his Lord, and his widow asked Priscilla to conduct Jack’s funeral.
“Oh I just couldn’t. Jack would turn in his grave... he doesn’t believe in women ministers”.
“Oh Priscilla... he just loved you.” She replied.
Sometimes the discussion about women in ministry remains at the level of theology. This dialogue is important of course. But in the end, the “argument” for women in ministry is won by competence and kindness. All of the research on this topic suggests that theological objections rapidly dissolve when a congregation experiences the ministry of a woman of appropriate giftedness, competence, and character. Objections to women’s ministry often occur at the level of the gut, rather than at the level of the head. It never really occurred to me that church ministry was a possibility for myself when I was younger, for it was right outside my experience and my imagination.
I’d be interested in your thoughts on this topic.
Priscilla was on the ministry team of a church that had a policy that sermon notes should be copied and distributed to the congregation.
One day after she had preached, Jack (a newcomer at the church) bowled up to her and announced “I don’t believe in women ministers”. “Oh, that’s interesting” she replied. “And I don’t agree with this!” He then thrust at her the day’s sermon notes with furious circles all over the sermon.
“Would you like to discuss this further?” she enquired. He agreed that he would, so she dutifully went to his house the next day and had a long conversation about exegesis, theology, etc. etc. They parted on very cordial terms.
The next time Priscilla preached, the man bowled up to her and proclaimed: “I don’t believe in women ministers. And I don’t agree with this!” He once more thrust the day’s sermon notes with all of his contentious circles. “Would you like to discuss this further?” she enquired. So she dutifully visited the next day, and had another long theological conversation. They parted once more very warmly.
This ritual continued for two years. Then one day Jack walked up to her at the end of the sermon and said: “Priscilla, you know I don’t believe in women ministers”.
“I know that Jack”
But if I ever did... you would be the one to make me change my mind”.
Tears came to her eyes. (She reported it was one of the most moving moments of her life.)
Some time later, Jack passed on to be with his Lord, and his widow asked Priscilla to conduct Jack’s funeral.
“Oh I just couldn’t. Jack would turn in his grave... he doesn’t believe in women ministers”.
“Oh Priscilla... he just loved you.” She replied.
Sometimes the discussion about women in ministry remains at the level of theology. This dialogue is important of course. But in the end, the “argument” for women in ministry is won by competence and kindness. All of the research on this topic suggests that theological objections rapidly dissolve when a congregation experiences the ministry of a woman of appropriate giftedness, competence, and character. Objections to women’s ministry often occur at the level of the gut, rather than at the level of the head. It never really occurred to me that church ministry was a possibility for myself when I was younger, for it was right outside my experience and my imagination.
I’d be interested in your thoughts on this topic.
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
Women's Ministry Changes the World Through Crafts
ORLANDO — Hot glue guns, faux-silk flowers, painted magnets that say "I can do all things through Christ!" — these astonishingly effective tools and skill-building exercises have helped New Life Center's women's group launch dozens of women into world-changing evangelism.
"Who knew that crafts were such a potent training ground for the gospel?" says Debby Wentworth, the group's chipper leader, as she finishes painting an irresistibly cute wooden angel. She's joined in the fellowship hall by 120 women, all chatting and doing decoupage. They create darling flower bouquets, seasonal wall-hangings and cozy centerpieces — all for the cause of Christ.
As a result of intense craft training, the group has become an engine of world transformation, sending dozens of women into the mission field.
"My years spent doing crafts prepared me well for the incredible complexities and challenges of running an orphanage in rural Malaysia," says Tamara Gooden, who speaks three Asian languages and is now an unofficial liaison between her village and the central Malaysian government. "I recall the papier-mâché butterflies we made with Bible verses on the wings, the cutting, the pasting — all skills that directly pertain to my current work increasing crop yields and distributing basic medicines for the people here so they don't succumb to famine or disease."
Other women testify that their extensive training in crafts has equipped them to lead large overseas crusades, start multi-national food ministries and raise millions for relief efforts.
"Crafts is such an under-valued skill-builder," says Debby. "And when crafts are done right — take toll paining or bead stringing, for example — women sense the strong presence of God and break down under conviction, right here in the women's ministries wing."
(OK, I've pinched this from "Lark News". I'll confess I'm a bit "craft-challenged", and have more interest in women's leadership stuff. Of course, craft groups can be a fabulous form of outreach, and good creative therapy for some... but I have to smirk a little at this gentle poke at those who take craft rather too seriously!)
"Who knew that crafts were such a potent training ground for the gospel?" says Debby Wentworth, the group's chipper leader, as she finishes painting an irresistibly cute wooden angel. She's joined in the fellowship hall by 120 women, all chatting and doing decoupage. They create darling flower bouquets, seasonal wall-hangings and cozy centerpieces — all for the cause of Christ.
As a result of intense craft training, the group has become an engine of world transformation, sending dozens of women into the mission field.
"My years spent doing crafts prepared me well for the incredible complexities and challenges of running an orphanage in rural Malaysia," says Tamara Gooden, who speaks three Asian languages and is now an unofficial liaison between her village and the central Malaysian government. "I recall the papier-mâché butterflies we made with Bible verses on the wings, the cutting, the pasting — all skills that directly pertain to my current work increasing crop yields and distributing basic medicines for the people here so they don't succumb to famine or disease."
Other women testify that their extensive training in crafts has equipped them to lead large overseas crusades, start multi-national food ministries and raise millions for relief efforts.
"Crafts is such an under-valued skill-builder," says Debby. "And when crafts are done right — take toll paining or bead stringing, for example — women sense the strong presence of God and break down under conviction, right here in the women's ministries wing."
(OK, I've pinched this from "Lark News". I'll confess I'm a bit "craft-challenged", and have more interest in women's leadership stuff. Of course, craft groups can be a fabulous form of outreach, and good creative therapy for some... but I have to smirk a little at this gentle poke at those who take craft rather too seriously!)
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