Secret Women's Business

I have noticed (and heard about) some bad behaviour lately: to be more specific, bad online male behaviour involving misrepresentation of feminism and gaslighting of women. My curiosity was aroused by noticing similar patterns of behaviour from different people in different places. How are they learning these techniques? I’ve hypothesised an educational institution exists where such behaviour can be honed to perfection. What do you think of my proposed curriculum? What subjects should be added? Manchild Christian University Subject Choices Here at Manchild we teach you: Selective Biblical Literalism 101 We'll show you how the 59 references to slaves in the New Testament need to be read on their cultural context, while explaining how taking l Timothy 2:12 literally is a test of biblical orthodoxy, and that anyone who doesn't ban all women from leadership is a HERETIC! Women's Issues 102 We will help you develop a pat answer to every complex...

Just in case you missed "Missing Missy"

Just tried the new coffee - Osama Bin Latte. It has a fluffy white head with two shots in it. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!' Then there was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. Did you know that 6 of the 7 dwarfs aren't Happy? Two antennas fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.' Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again th...

I like this, a lot:  http://www.theveryworstmissionary.com/2013/04/because-maybe-it-wont-suck.html?m=1

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for short). In the first year, ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard ‘c’ will be replaced with ‘k.’ Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced by ‘f’. This will make words like ‘fotograf’ 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage t...

I’m trying to get my head around what Complementarians believe, and I think it goes something like this: Complementarians think there is a “headship” hierarchy in the universe. God the Father has always been “head” of the God the Son. When Paul wrote about Jesus being very nature God, and emptying himself in the incarnation, that was a pretty suspect idea… definitely not Paul’s finest hour. The Trinity is a chain of command, not some quaint idea of perichoresis of three Persons equally God. The man is “head” of the woman: this is why women can’t do church leadership, or speak in church. It seems that you can teach “down” in the hierarchy of the universe, but you can’t teach “up”. Therefore men can teach men about the bible, women can teach women (equal in the "headship" hierarchy), while men and women can both teach children (who are a bit lower in the hierarchy). However, I have heard that something magical happens to boys when they turn 16 (or 18), and God suddenly gets ...

My friend Alan Hirsch, in a ridiculous moment, suggested I should be President of the United States, so I decided to play around with the idea. I think it would be necessary to declare a day of national mourning that the country had managed to elect someone so spectacularly incompetent, but then, it wouldn't be the first time... perhaps I'll skip that idea.* My next concern be to do something about America's deficit... 16 trillion dollars is a lot of debt, and much of it is unproductive. My first target would be military spending. Spending around five times more than the next most heavily invested country in military spending seems completely disproportionate... spending twice as much would still make the US a military superpower. I think I will be moderate and cut defense spending in half, freeing up $355.5 billion dollars annually. I'd also like to do something about incarceration rates... the financial cost, and the cost in terms of human misery, is a terr...

Gotta love Lark News... there's a great article about "facebragging" here Do you know any "facebraggers"? Any other pet facebook hates? Your guilty secret is safe here... he he.

TEACHER: Thandeka, go to the map and find North America . THANDEKA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: THANDEKA. TEACHER: Rodney, why are you doing your maths multiplication on the floor? Rodney: You told me to do it without using tables. TEACHER: Nathi, how do you spell 'crocodile?' NATHI: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong NATHI: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. TEACHER: Hendrick, what is the chemical formula for water? HENDRICK: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? HENDRICK: Yesterday you said it's H to O. TEACHER: Thabiso, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. Thabiso: Me! TEACHER: Mapula, why do you always get so dirty? Mapula: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. TEACHER: Dipuo, give me a sentence starting with 'I'. DIPUO: I is.. ...

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death. The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. 'I want to repay you,' said the nobleman. 'You saved my son's life.' 'No, I can't accept payment for what I did,' the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. 'Is that your son?' the nobleman asked. 'Yes,' the farmer replied proudly. 'I'll make you a deal...

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT : When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

OK, it's been a good day for funny emails.... here's another one... These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes .. ; ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS...

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. Life is sexually transmitted. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. The only difference between a groove and a grave is the depth. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. In the 60's, people took acid to make the...

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. Life is sexually transmitted. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. The only difference between a groove and a grave is the depth. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. In the 60's, people took acid to make the...

Dear John, I hope you can help me. The other day, I set off for work, leaving my husband in the house watching TV. My car stalled, and then it broke down about a mile down the road, and I had to walk back to get my husband’s help. When I got home, I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour’s daughter! I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbour’s daughter is 19. We have been married for 10 years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted they have been having an affair for the past six months. He won’t go to counselling, and I’m afraid I’m a wreck and need advice urgently. Can you please help? Sincerely, Shelia. Dear Shelia, A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold, and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could b...

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir,only one carrion allowed per passenger." 2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam!" 3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit afire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that youcan't have your kayak and heat it too. 4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies"Yes, I'm positive." 5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. 6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?", they asked, as they moved off. "Because,...

Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. If you are even remotely familiar with holy scripture, you'll find this hilarious! It comes from a Roman Catholic elementary school test. Kids were asked questions about the old and new testaments. The following statements about the bible were written by children. They have not been re-touched or corrected. Incorrect spelling has been left in. 1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off. 2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of Ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears. 3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night. 4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals. 5. Sampson was a strongman who let him self be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. 6. Samson slayed the philistines with the axe of the apostles. 7. Moses led the J...

Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seemed happy to maintain the old custom. Ms Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, 'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?' The woman looked Ms.Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said: 'Land Mines.' Moral of the story is (no matter what language you speak or where you go): BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE'S A SMART WOMAN (received by email!)

I don't know about you, but some days I am nearly convinced that demonic forces are at work on my computer. The freezing... the error messages... the unexpected restarts... all designed to test my endurance and character. Anyway, today I received the following email about Jesus, Satan and computers for your edification and entertainment: Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for forty days and forty nights, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job." So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They created powerpoint presentations. They e-mailed. They e-mailed with attachments. They downloaded. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They created labels and cards. They created cha...