Secret Women's Business

Finding healthy boundaries is an issue with a lot of resonance for me. The reason this issue sets off bells ringing is because I experienced severe burnout a couple of years ago. A friendship evolved into something that was so demanding and painful that something in me finally snapped. I've now been left with the effects of post traumatic stress and anxiety. This still feels like something that is foreign to me, as I have a naturally placid temperament. (I was one of those smiling "easy" babies). I had no idea what was happening to me when my first panic attack hit... all I knew was I was shaking all over and couldn't stand up. This experience made me realise that if burnout can happen to me (naturally laid back soul that I am!), it can happen to anyone. This is a really difficult issue to balance as a Christian. Part of the life of discipleship is caring for others, part of the life of discipleship is going the extra mile, part of the life of discipleship is "la...

I spent some time last weekend reading Sharon’s online book about her son Tyler, who died as an infant... at http://my.homewithgod.com/tyler/ . I must warn you before you begin however... I’d advise arranging a snack and a thermos flask by your side before you begin. It is a story that sucked me right in... initially (I think) because my eldest son was born prematurely, weighing 2 ½ pounds... so the first part of Sharon’s story evoked all that weirdness and helplessness of having your own child in a humidicrib kept alive by the wonders of technology... and the strangeness of changing nurses and changing hospitals and changing hormones... and the empty feeling of arriving home from hospital minus a baby. I think I was drawn in even more so, however, by the wonderful candour of Sharon’s writing... it is a raw, almost painfully honest account of grief and loss and struggle and the grace of God. Anyone who has suffered a profound loss, or a difficult relationship, or a sick child, or a p...

One of my tasks on Wednesday night was to drive Sally Morgenthaller to her hotel after a women's dessert and coffee night. I had borrowed by husband's work car in order to chauffeur the important international guest. Apart from this being a much nicer vehicle, a recent altercation with another car has left me unable to open the passenger front door of my own car... and I didn't think putting Sally in the back seat was a good look. But after I had loaded up Sally and her luggage, I realised something was wrong with the car. It shuddered, it lacked power, and my first thought was "Oh... something's wrong with the fuel or exhaust system." I drove some distance, but thought I'd better return to the church car park lest we have a breakdown somewhere in transit. Fortunately, I quickly found a volunteer who was happy to drive Sally to her hotel... a young woman in ministry who seemed quite pleased to be able to chat with Sally further. Sally's luggage was d...

I was once the "official trainer" for an English Channel swimmer. This is actually far less impressive than it sounds. I had assured my friend Suzanne that I would go over to England for her channel swim. As I was the only person who had committed to do this when she registered with the Channel Swimming Association, she noted down my name as her official trainer. Her "real trainer" stayed back in Australia. As it turns out, another of Suzanne's friends Mary travelled to England with her and perfected her "feeding technique" (warm carbohydrate drink lowered from the Dover pier during practice swims; and passed from the boat during the actual swim). This left me with the "comic relief" role of singing songs all night (yes, it was an overnight swim) through a microphone. I also assisted in the swimmer "greasing" process immediately before the swim, did some videotaping of the swim (with inane commentary), and held out a torch beam to g...