Toward Emotional Freedom
A six-year-old boy called Nathan asks his father why his mum is crying. “Because you boys have been naughty” the father responds, referring to the boy and his younger brother. Nathan immediately feels terrible that his behaviour has caused his mother such distress. Somehow the message goes deep into his soul that he is responsible for the feelings of others. He must NEVER behave in a way that will upset others like that! Decades later, Nathan is a pastor. He feels significant anxiety when others disapprove of his words or actions, especially if they are older, respected figures. Nathan still carries an inner six-year-old who feels distressed if parental archetypes are displeased with him. Pastor Nathan is self-aware enough to realise his anxiety about pleasing others is holding him back as a leader. How might you address these kinds of deep-seated emotional responses? As Nathan’s coach I asked: “when did you first feel like you were responsible for other’s fe