With my tongue planted in my cheek, I have begun the process of identifying various “types” of women based on their vehicles. My current list is as follows:
Ultra-feminine woman. The car smells of perfume and potpourri. There may be fringed or ruffled pillows on the back, Helen Steiner-Rice poems displayed on the dashboard, frangipani stickers on the rear windows, and a small homemade quilt as a throw or cover.
Girl-child. Car is full of stuffed toys.
Neat freak. The car is immaculate inside and out. The only bumper sticker is the one of their car dealer (unless they have had time to scrub it off).
Overwhelmed Mother. Car is a total mess. The floor at the back seat has McDonald's wrappers, mouldy apple cores, the packaging of toys that have been hastily ripped apart, discarded socks, crushed school notices, etc. Biological experiments are growing in the deeper layers, hidden under more recent child offerings.
Hyper-religious. Likely to have not only a fish sticker but a challenging message on the rear window. The interior has a warning sticker on the dashboard that the driver may disappear at any moment. The driver may launch into a discussion of the "Left Behind" series to clarify the seriousness of the warning to any hapless passengers.
Tough chick. Drives an old model V6 or V8. Has a bumper sticker from Metallica, or one they acquired when they took their children to a Crusty Demons or Monster Truck Rally. Ciggy frequently dangles out the window.
New Age spiritual woman. Crystal dangling from the rear vision mirror. Likely to have a "Magic Happens" sticker, and various incomprehensible mystic sayings on the bumper and rear windows.
Greenie/activist. Various bumper stickers advertising multiple causes... no dams, no nuclear power, save the whales, free Tibet etc. Rarely seen on the road, as the truly committed are now on their bicycles or on public transport.
Have you noticed other “types” of women’s cars? What “type” is your car? What does this say about you?
Sunday, 17 August 2008
Sunday, 10 August 2008
Chick Wisdom
Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.
A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.
One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrin ks 2 sizes!
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' ......Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!
(Well, it's really from one of those emails that circulate around... but it is amusing!)
A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.
One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.
I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers.
Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrin ks 2 sizes!
Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' ......Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!
(Well, it's really from one of those emails that circulate around... but it is amusing!)
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