Absolute Ruler of Australia

Having toyed with what I might do to make America a safer and kinder place, it is time I turned my attention to cleaning up our own back yard, so to speak.

As was my plan for the United States, I would love to explore how to do community-building as a priority. This does not take money so much as vision. How can we make our society more interconnected, so our elderly do not sit alone, so our young mums do not go insane with boredom, so our youth do not feel so alone they fall into serious depression and self-harm? I would love to listen to experts on community-building. I would love to talk to churches, community groups, sporting groups, the media, and anyone who will listen, really, about how we can get to know our neighbours and create support groups where needed. Wouldn't it be awesome if we got really, really serious about knowing and caring for our neighbours? Bring it on.

I would make sure we keep our commitments on giving 0.7% of our GDP in well-targeted development according to the Millennium Development Goals... in fact, more if possible... this is the big moral issue of our day.

"Mandatory detention" and "offshore processing" are inhumane and ridiculous. If we end up with a lot more people seeking refugee status in our country, so be it. Don't complain, I am Absolute Ruler, in my imagination at least.

I would increase support for people living with disabilities... people with serious illnesses have MORE expenses than healthy people, not less. Current levels are grossly inadequate. How? I would prune back welfare payments for the upper middle class. I'm not convinced retired people with assets of a million dollars (NOT counting the family home) should be receiving government benefits either. They've paid tax you say? Yes... that doesn't mean they are entitled to get anything back... they've paid for medical care, transport, roads, defense, etc. etc. for the common good. I'm Absolute Ruler, remember?

I'd decrease tax on productive businesses that generate employment, particularly small and new businesses, and increase taxes on the unproductive ways the well-off try to "protect their assets".

I'd invest more in research... our best hope for continued prosperity is innovation.

To keep us happier and healthier I'd tax more on junk food, and use this to subsidize healthy fruits and vegetables. I'd encourage using more of our extensive park space for community gardens. I'd use celebrity chefs (or whoever) to promote cooking and eating great healthy food. I'd promote walking and talking community groups that should help keep people out of counselors' and doctors' rooms.

I'd slap a luxury tax on those big 4 wheel drive vehicles, which you may claim as a reduction if you have a legitimate business (such as a trade). Partly to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, and partly because I don't like them. Get over it.

Just for fun, I'd give a rip-roaring speech on misogyny, accept advertising on You Tube, and direct all income from this toward charity.

Australia, you are an awesome place to live... you're not doing a bad job. Just thought my suggestions would make you even nicer.

So, what would you do if you were Absolute Ruler of Australia?


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